Sexual and Sexualized Behavior in Children : Risky Behaviors in Relationships

Adult perpetrators

Most people think of pedophiles when they hear the term ‘child sexual abuse’. A pedophile is someone whose primary sexual attraction is to a pre-pubescent child is indeed a threat. Pedophiles carefully plan a strategy to develop a relationship with a victim and potentially the adults in their life, (the so-called ‘“grooming” process) and gradually move from a ”friendship” to a sexualized relationship. Hebephiles follow a similar pattern, targeting pubescent children and ephebophiles target teens.

Hebephiles and ephebophiles may seek jobs or volunteer opportunities that place them in contact with children in the age preference. Schools can be vulnerable. Estimates of youth experiencing educator sexual misconduct range from 4.1 percent of students reporting contact offenses to 50.3 percent of students reporting any sexual misconduct by an educator (Shakeshaft 2004). When parents overhear children talking about someone having a crush on a teacher, coach or any adult in their life, they should take seriously the possibility that the crush can move into sexual abuse.

It is crucial to help parents/caregivers understand that risks exist beyond pedophiles. Parents can be supported to choose programs for their children run by people aware of these risks and have policies and procedures in place to address them.

Peer-to-peer abuse

While studies of reported cases of sexual abuse point to adults being the most common offender, retrospective studies of adults who recall sexual abuse from their past indicate that the most common abusers are other minors (Gwerwitz-Meyden et al 2020). Peer-to-peer abuse is generally unplanned behavior in response to curiosity or sexual arousal, coupled with opportunity, the developmentally normal lack of empathy and undeveloped executive decision-making skills.

With older adolescents who may also be experimenting with drugs and alcohol, conditions that impair judgement are magnified. Further, as an adolescent’s body responds to stimulation by initiating the response cycle, judgement may be come impaired as intense autonomic physical responses take over.

The same early lessons that we teach children about masturbation – that their genital arousal is private, and no one’s concern but their own – should be reiterated as children age. Conversations about boundaries and consent are crucial.

Exposure to Pornography

There is a strong probability of youth being exposed to online pornography and sexualized solicitations, even with the best filters and parental vigilance. The majority of youth will see pornography online before they turn 19 (Madigan et al 2018). For many youths this exposure is a difficult experience; it holds the possibility of being frightening or disturbing yet eliciting a genital response. Again, an understanding of the autonomic nature of genital arousal is an important inoculation to the confusion that can occur from experiencing such conflicting feelings simultaneously.

Whether the child seeks out sexual imagery, or finds it accidentally, viewing pornography has been linked to the following:

• Increased sexual risk taking for both young males and young females, such as not using condoms
• Unrealistic expectations of the norm in sexual anatomy and sexual behaviors
• Body dysmorphia, or increased dissatisfaction with their own body
• Decreased sense of the need for consent from a partner

There is some research that suggests that pornography may be helpful to sexually minority youth, particularly those in isolated communities with few healthy role models. However, a medical provider can be a much better source of accurate information for a young patient and their family.

Sextortion

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) says sextortion is “a form of child sexual exploitation where children are threatened or blackmailed, most often with the possibility of sharing with the public nude or sexual images of them, by a person who demands additional sexual content, sexual activity or money from the child.” Sextortion cases doubled between 2019 and 2021 and are continuing to rise at an alarming rate. Teenage boys are the most common targets, according to NCMEC.

A typical scenario will involve a boy who finds a girl online interested in him. They start chatting on a gaming platform then move to another communications app. The chat becomes sexualized, and the girl offers an explicit photo and asks the boy to reciprocate.

Then moments after he hits send, adult exploiters reveal themselves and direct the frightened, embarrassed and ashamed child to get a credit card and send money or produce more sexually explicit images under threat of his photos being shared in school or through the community. After weeks of friendly chat, the exploiters know exactly where the victim goes to school, hangs out and maybe even worships.

Victims feel so overwhelmed and helpless that sextortion has resulted in suicide https://www.cbsnews.com/detroit/news/3-nigerian-men-charged-in-sextortion-death-of-marquette-teen/.

Parents/caregivers can help prevent sextortion by following basic rules for online safety, with two important additions:

• Ensure children understand that genital/sexual arousal is autonomic. Sextortionists will send victims explicit messages or images to elicit arousal. Kids must learn that physical arousal is just their body being normal and does not mean the person on the other end is special in any way.
• Most importantly, sextortionists get away with torturous scams because they impress on their victims how much shame they’ll feel when pictures are shared. Let’s teach our kids to show compassion for victims and spread that message to their friends. This compassion will start with the medical professional who can discuss these threats with kids and parents, urging everyone to be aware of the threats and modeling support and compassion for victims.

If a child’s images are distributed online, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) can help even if the victim is no longer a minor. Their service Take It Down helps remove nude, partially nude or sexually explicit photos and videos of underage people. https://takeitdown.ncmec.org.